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  • Writer's pictureGrace Jensen

#27 So One of You Wants Sex More Than the Other ft. Chelsea Petersen, LMFT

Chelsea Peterson, a marriage and family therapist and owner of Cache Valley Counseling, joins Grace to discuss a long-awaited topic: how to understand and maneuver different levels of desire in the bedroom.

Mrs. Peterson explains that partners differ in sexual desire far more often than not and that which partner is which can change (8:30). She then dives into the patterns that can arise when this situation is not handled well (12:05) and where the patterns can come from (18:20). (That’s when Good Girl Syndrome is explained.) Thankfully, Mrs. Peterson takes us through how to retrain our brains (31:00).

The brake/gas pedal analogy is helpful in identifying what triggers changes in the bedroom (42:15). After the host and her guest go down a bunny trail about sex and nursing (46:15), Mrs. Peterson helps us lessen judgement around sexual preferences (51:15). Grace reminds us of the long term nature of the sex game and the motivation behind working hard now (57:00). Next, Mrs. Peterson discusses how to maneuver life as a high-desire partner (60:25). In closing, Grace and Mrs. Peterson clarify that no one needs sex, but everyone needs emotional connection (82:45).

Recommended resources on sex (the anatomy and relational sides) are as follows:

Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski (on Amazon here)

And It Was Very Good by Our Earthly Parents (on Amazon here or email Chelsea at for a free PDF)

Attached by Amir Levine (on Amazon here)

Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch (on Amazon here)

“The Intimacy Podcast” with Rhonda Farr (link to Apple podcasts here)

Instagram accounts:

@kristinbhodson (website here)

@finalysonfife (website here)

@marriagelaboratory (website here)

Thank you for listening to this podcast! Sharing it with a friend or leaving a quick review on iTunes would be deeply appreciated—it spreads the word and keeps this show going. Follow on Instagram @thenewlywedshow and Grace Jensen @gracewjensen. She would love to hear from you!

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